@you

Why do you keep making bad choices? It’s really not that hard to just keep calm. You get anxious and then go do something dumb. One of these times you’re going to do something where a sorry can’t mend us. We both have the same goals and outlooks but you just need to keep your mind straight. Please, I am sick of worrying about you…

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Religion

To start this off, I am not religious. I do not believe in God, nor have I ever. I have attended church many times, studied most common religions. But the only thing that has ever made any logical sense to me is science. A lot of it is just theories but they have way more facts to it than any other religions. I think it’s ridiculous that even now after all of the knowledge we have we still have to swear on the bible in court. Does anyone really think that swearing on the bible is going to stop some criminal? I respect everyone’s right to an opinion. But I still have people knocking on my door and telling me who I should believe. I don’t get angry but I also can’t be mean enough to tell them to leave. Just please, only repeat bible verses to people of other of the same belief. Not to someone who cringes and finds a way to get out of it. I don’t get rude or mean, just uncomfortable.

New People

Met a few new people over the weekend, all foreign exchange students. End up staying the night with them and talked with them for hours. It really opens your mind up talking to people who have seen more than you and who have plans. There is so much more to offer than sitting here in Ohio and having that mentality of it’s comforting to stay around people I know and to not leave friends and loved ones. But you just have to. You have to leave and find where you belong, I feel like I am welcome here but what if it is not where I belong. I can always come back.

Waiting on Packages

Waiting on packages is the worst, you buy something from amazon and it can be there from 3-6 days if you do not have prime. So everyday from the 3rd day you look and it never came. Not only are you waiting on the day it can come until 8 at night. So you have to wait all day for it then it never comes. Its day 6 amazon you better be here!

Simulations

I find myself staring off a lot whether it is the stars or a wall its the same thoughts. I think about how insignificant everything is but how important it feels. People with an iq that’s way higher than mine have said there is a more chance our life is a simulation than being a reality. Everything is already insignificant in our reality if you compare yourself to the amount of people, and then to the universe. But its worse all being a simulation.  But what can you do.

My intuition is telling me there will be better days…

I getting really sick of talking to too many people. I am going to start cutting people off just because I am overwhelmed and I’m being too nice to all of them. I need to stop being reliant on two people, I need to get a new job and a new car and actually start doing my things on time. But will I? I certainly hope so, I also got this oil that’s supposed to help me chill out for once. I hope that works too.

Motivation

img_1104Look me in the eyes and say you know me. I wrote the word motivation on my rock because that’s what I urn for the most. The last few years has been me getting bad grades and messing my future up. There is no fixing it now, I like to blame it on the problems that make me different. But it is my fault and I admit that. I really believe if I had enough motivation I could do great things. The only problem is I don’t. I can fake it as much as I fake paying attention, school has become zoning out and then teaching myself how to do it once I am handed the paper. I guess I’ll say THIS TIME IT STOPS NOW, ITS A NEW YEAR. But let’s be honest it won’t. I’ll improve some things but not near all that need to be fixed.